America, we need to talk about Trump & QAnon

What is American culture at this point? It's Pepsi-flavored ass lube and clown shoes if you need a visual. We're indebted inbreds who worship false Kardashian gods while pulling out our cellphones every minute of every day, hoping we're not missing what's happening out there- but we're totally checked out on everything happening in here. It's a horror show. None of us is the Final Girl.

We're stuck in the repeating loop of pandemic hell. Ben Shapiro can't talk about women liking sex, and the Tiger King feels like a lifetime ago. Politics is, of course, the superstar of the show next to protestors killing one another, a new civil rights movement, mass overdose and suicide deaths, and Facebook rants by guys in sunglasses sitting in their cars. But these are also not to be outdone by California wildfires, a hurricane that battered Louisiana, and people somehow still making trips to Walt Disney World.

Fake news, conspiracy theories, rampant misinformation, and a whole lot of cognitive bias is the brand of this dog fuck of a year. Everyone's non-political parents are weaponized by the far-right thanks to sneaky initiatives from QAnon, which makes good-hearted people think there's a nefarious worldwide conspiracy floating just out of average human reach.

We should probably have a chat about this.

The insanity of QAnon is creeping into the mainstream, which should surprise no one. We're a country that elected a used car salesman as a president and weaponized people wearing masks as a political stunt. I saw a meme with a guy who put a midnight special on his mask's left side to "own the libs." This is the festering maw of America in 2020. I mean, who doesn't believe there's a secret cabal of Hollywood elites who drink the blood of children to retain their power? There's a massive child trafficking ring under our noses, too. Apparently, those kids are all headed to secret Hollywood-only sex clubs where botox vampires lurk.

If you're going to run a den of iniquity, there are logistical questions like how one keeps a fresh inventory? What do they do with the bodies? Where do they keep them? How does a multinational, multi-tiered sex ring work in an era of cell phones, information leaks, along with the supply chain disruption? Who is the end-user? Do they pay via Venmo, encryption, or just cash? What décor does a Hollywood nosferatu lair have? These details matter. Never mind, there are highly trained professionals dedicated to enforcing child safety, doing the super-secret stuff that results in saving thirty-six (brown) kids in Georgia from god knows what. But never fear, the guy you went to high school with who cleans pools for a living is on the case and will explain how this whole thing works to undermine our entire existence via insane YouTube logic. Have you ever tried to get five people to agree on lunch? It's hard enough to get adults to agree on who has the best burger in town, let alone foster a community of adolescent blood orgies for millionaires.

If you want to help with child trafficking, start with changing the immigration laws. Kids and parents living in the shadows of fear of losing their livelihoods thanks to fear of deportation are the ones most likely wind up missing – not MacKenzie Blue Eyes from the Florida suburbs. And to make the whole thing even dumber, QAnon believes that Donald Trump is a one-person army dedicated to fighting for this cause. The guy who has a literal gold toilet, the fascist clown who'll brag about any win, no matter how small – is humble enough to fight on behalf of the kids – the guy who also didn't raise any of his kids…. ones that he's had with three different women.

But this is a secret war. Trump, the worst orator of all time, can't process the truth in traditional speeches. He only gives codes – winks, tie color, hand gestures. Does anyone else understand how fucking insane this is and tons of red hat-wearing psychos believe this just like the tax breaks worked for them and that the border wall wasn't a vast clusterfuck, but also a front for an oil company to build a pipeline? Never mind capitalism failing at an alarming rate, there's also a massive death toll, or that many beloved cultural institutions like live music venues, comedy clubs, bars, and restaurants are closing because no one can get a handle on the virus, or that millions of people still need to be on unemployment. Nevertheless, we concentrate on Trump's continued theatrics or that Joe Biden is a puppet for his corporate masters.

Here's the rub, folks, electing Joe Biden is the moral Band-Aid. Trump got elected on the back of fragile white men who can't fathom not being the American world's center. He relied on the tried and true standard of talking about the Good Times of the Past, the times with rampant political corruption and mass racism, but a time when a white man could buy a house and raise a family after dropping out of high school. Now that people got wise to the bullshit parade Trump campaigns on, it's brought us to a weird place in American politics: the grand illusion is no longer an illusion, it's a gigantic festival of people who will never give a fuck about us, but now, we have to throw a dagger at a spinning target for a moral win rather than let the Sociopath in Charge remain in charge.

There's been a no better time to have the "we need more than two political parties" conversation, but we're in a unique position that ain't exactly like elections in the past. Effectively, we've got five American identities, and they're all arguing for the most part. We've become a paternity panel on the Maury Povich show. The liberals are not progressive enough, so this begats the leftists who believe in more socialist programs. The liberal is a corporate shill with their hand out and a briefcase of papers signifying big talk for marginalized people with little action to a leftist. To an old school conservative, there's the Trump wing of the party where it's become less about "Guns, God, and Country," but instead, it's "fuck you, and get out of my way." Is there a middle? Maybe. Sure. Some folks want their kids to go to a decent school, and their shed doesn't get broken into every other night by the neighborhood meth head. It's a complicated time because it's not an election about Joe Biden's successes. It's that he's a throwback to sanity. The progressives see him and Harris as a cop-loving duo, but Trump's poison pill will always taste worse. The man deserves burial at sea in open waters where great whites freely roam. He's worse than Nixon, who was a criminal ghoul till the day he stopped breathing. The Trump presidency is a national nightmare. It doesn't take a genius to accept that if the flawed character of Hillary Clinton would have got the job, we'd be in better shape across the board. Instead, the folk hero for assholes has managed to give credence to every guy who peaked at seventeen and is mad about it decades later.

People are going to duke it out over Biden sniffing heads, which is admittedly weird. But Trump is worse. There's no way to compare the two. Giving Biden the ball is a moment for everyone to pause and hit the reset button. It's not a slam dunk. There are better people for the job, but do you think we can stand for another four years of a guy who doesn't even try to hide who corrupt he is? Donald Trump is "an emotional cripple, his soul is dogshit" – paraphrased from Bad Santa. Trump is using his platform to tout one message: "If Joe Biden wins there will be rioting and looting. Crime will be rampant, and the Coronavirus will only get worse under bad leadership." Spoiler alert – that's all happening right now and on his watch.

"And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird."
---Revelation 18:2