Happy 4th of July, Who's got the Gasoline?

The mask is off, literally. In the olden times, we used to sweep everything under the rug. We need ejector seats because getting off the rollercoaster ain't happening, not this year. You're stuck, and you're gonna like it. America continues to be co-opted by nerds in Hawaiian shirts with long guns, while hacked into bite-sized separatist pieces. Grab a toothpick and a cocktail napkin. 

Before people at least avoided eye contact with the neighbor they'd been ignoring for the last eight years. Now, for some, the whole attitude isn’t pleasant disagreement, it’s "fuck them, gimmie mine!" And really doesn't that scream Good Ole Red, White, and Blue? Kinda warms your heart to see us in our natural, cannibalistic state.

It's in our hard coded DNA to destroy all culture we see and slap a Jack in the Box up where a burial mound is, but hey, them's the breaks. We got double cheeseburgers to sell, pal.

Delicious freedom via Checkers

Wearing a face covering has become a political issue thanks to American exceptionalism. The loonies are storming city and town halls, yelping that "freedoms" are compromised because they can't get a manicure or chug Miller Lite on a lake. Back in "Normal Times," we'd let these dummies take their lives into their own hands, but we can't because we don't want to die. Kids in Alabama don't believe the Coronavirus hype so they're throwing parties with zero social distancing. The first one to get sick wins a cash prize. The future is bright. 

Trump is doubling down on identity politics, but his numbers continue to slide. He thought masks were bullshit. He's now begging people to wear them. You'd think science would have said something, but you know, echo chambers of social media, liberal hoaxes and all that educated mumbo jumbo. Screw all those dead people. Trump has gotten the protests wrong. He's gotten international politics wrong. His tax cuts were for the rich. The elite class is making tons of money off us while we're stuck at home. Unemployment is high, the economy is in the toilet, and millions buried under college debt. Where's Joe Biden? Hiding out. He's letting Trump beat himself. 

So yeah, happy 4th of July, right?

But if there's one message that rings out loud like a shotgun blast during the Year of the Tiger King, it's that the country has a front-row seat to seeing America at its worst, but also its best. People have risen to the call to fight oppression, systematic racism, and class warfare. They’re realizing the capitalist system has and will continue to drag them through the shit-covered barbed wire so long as they can make a buck. Politicians know they're a few protests away from the gulags. Kneeling in a kente cloth ain't gonna cut it. Pass laws, get underserved communities taken care of, that’s what we’re after.

The left isn't safe. Don't get it twisted. We're tired of Do-Nothing Democrats, the corporate liberals. We'll continue to elect candidates who see a corrupt system that only works for a few. One by one, we're removing them. We don't give a shit about Nancy Pelosi or Chuck Schumer just as we don't give a shit about Rand Paul or Mitch McConnell. They all stand in the way of progress for all people. 

But, there is one piece of solace that reigns supreme this year, one thing that unequivocally makes me tap dance like Danny fuckin’ Kaye: the hard right-wing have proven who they are, they're so goddamned mediocre it's unbelievable. Folks, we got a taste of pure, unfiltered, hypocritical bullshit that hits like a Lucky Strike unfiltered after a long night taking swigs off a bottle of Mad Dog. 

The wheels are coming off Trump's cult. The right-wingers who usually get in line are starting to defect. And those still die-hard for the cause filled up a massive venue - to a third of its capacity. The pro-American videos shot in a truck with a guy with a beard and sunglasses, they're getting dumber by the day. All we can do is watch the disintegration of sanity. 

Since our friends who love "traditional values" are in constant communication with The Almighty, where have the Mega Churches been? How have they served their flock? (fart noise) they haven't done squat. All of the money, power, facilities, and influence, but where have they been? All of these hacks like Joel Osteen have sat on their hands, letting the virus rage their communities. They're not serving the homeless, the poor, or influencing the wellbeing of the non-believers. Osteen made a $100k contribution to feeding people in the Houston-area, but the guy is still worth around $50M. The rest of these charlatans? Nada. They're not in the streets helping, nothing. They're not cradling the sick, and not offering solace. It's all an act. These phonies prove that the Christian machine isn't about the people, it's about the pennies.

People are out of work, states are closing again, and America's numbers are spiking. What are our politicians doing? They're fixing to reward big business. Sure, give the little guy a $1,200 check and a "sink or swim" note pinned to his chest and off to sea. Why aren't they passing laws on housing, on rentals, telling the banks, which we bailed out, that you can't financially cripple someone because they can barely get by as is? All debt should be tacked on at the back end, extend the loan, but nope. We gave these corporate assholes sackloads of cash during the first part of the pandemic, which they used as buybacks, to grab their stock at a lower price, then sell it when the market regulates. We've started to take America's temperature based on what Wall Street does, which is totally false. Wall Street is not Main Street. Traders move money, they are not job creators, they're vampires. This is coming from a guy who worked for them for five years. 

Look at the protests. People of every color, shape, and size took to the streets in solidarity with firsts raised in the air. Black, brown, white, trans, queer, and straight. The coalition is diverse. Things are getting done. Monuments are crashing down while laws are being changed. And who stands on the other side of the street? The Real America, those people with American flag shorts, showcasing their inability to believe in something other than what benefits them and their love of a gallon-sized Coke.

But most of all, we've seen the steaming horse shit come from the pro-second amendment mouth breathers, the guys too stupid to be cops, and too big of pussies to be in the military – their entire smoke show is nothing but fantasy. They believe in a "well-armed militia" just in case the government, these Terminator 2 level assholes with Tomahawk missiles, tanks, bombs, guns, and kevlar vests - a country capable of destroying any other nation on earth within hours, are going to lay down for the uprising of guys who really like Dairy Queen?

Just a few weeks ago, at the Michigan state capitol, armed bros took over the grounds, demanding their local Dollar Tree be reopened because freedom tastes better from the booth of their local Applebees. They screamed of an armed revolution, to liberate people from Socialist nonsense. It's a convenient outrage, one that's safe, it doesn't actually put their lives at risk. This doesn't make them use those guns. Weeks later, when the protests sparked across the country for the killing of George Floyd, where were these minute men? They were standing on the side of the cops. 

Isn't their whole thing about protecting themselves against the government? It's all bullshit. Unarmed people were attacked by the fuzz, tear-gassed and tased, all signs of law run amok. But the armed citizens who were so ready to fight over a piece of cloth over their faces? Dead silent. They disagreed with the protests because it was a real protest, not a dick showing contest, with tiny results. They want the toys and to feel significant. It's not about street justice, it's hoping someone breaks into their house, and they get to tell the story over Budweisers one day. 

On the back of the Black Lives Matter movement, the country's eyes are opening to police brutality, but also demanding justice and equality for all people. We have much to reconcile with indigenous people and their treatment, but this is the beginning. We have to have meaningful conversations about immigration and do more to get kids out of cages and keep families together. And we need to vote our asses off. It's time to clean the house. This 4th of July is complicated, but there is hope. We can do this. We have to. Otherwise, we're screwed.