Great, the Coronavirus has Made Trump Even More Annoying
The self-obsessed used car salesman that the minority of Americans elected as our National Embarrassment is back doing his best to be the center of attention once again. Wasn't it nice when he was quiet and laid up in the hospital? The tweets were low, his continual parade of stupidity wasn't front-page news. Things felt ok for a second. Because Trump wasn't stuck atop every single moment of news, it felt like a national exhale: remember what life was like without this cultural cancer poisoning every nook and cranny?
Those were the days, huh?
But, like all things in the Trump Kingdom of Assholery, nothing good lasts. Overnight, Republicans took science seriously, and the left suddenly started believing in God. The literal best doctors in the country kept him healthy, and now, we've made his blustering love of self even worse. He's cured, thanking God, and will be even more unhinged as the days of the worst election of all time dwindle into the fetid miasma we're all expecting to take place on November Third – win, lose or draw.
Without at least a little scare, Trump beating Coronavirus, something to maybe given him a Jacob Marley moment of self-reflection, is the worst possible news. From here on out, we know the score, we know he's going to downplay the virus. We know he's going to make rash choices to move the needle in his favor, whether it be with a drug or opening the country back up in his chaotic way.
Despite a recent hospital stay at Walter Reed for a positive Coronavirus infection, the cultural sleight of hand huckster plans on getting back out on the campaign trail. Because like all things, does Trump ever listen to anyone? No, we all know he's a vain crybaby bursting at the seams with hubris. The thought of not being around a gaggle of people that worship him and his ugly rhetoric drives him insane. He needs to have his ego stroked. He craves people telling him he's special, that he's invincible, despite what modern science would like him to believe. Like all things loyal to the brand, Trump never leads from the front. It's always behind, the horse's ass.
El Presidente will be holding his first public event via the South Lawn, with you know, hundreds of people. While he plans on addressing the crowd from one of the White House balconies, despite him saying he's not contagious (the doctors aren't psyched about his self-proclamation), grouping scores of people in one place doesn't scream "great idea." Republicans are terrible at compromising their bald eagle screaming fantasies about personal freedoms, including wearing a face covering to protect others against possible infection. Because no matter how hard this broken era of the White House may scan visitors, it's par for the course a few infected folks will slip in the cracks.
If that's not enough of a dog and pony show, Trump wants to head down to the bastion of airtight, sunshine state logistics, wait that's Disney World, but rather, the state of Florida. But, get this, he hasn't tested negative for COVID yet, either. He's not made a public appearance, but he's audibly chomping at the bit to be swallowed in the love of all of the middle-aged, mediocre white folks who see him as a beacon of normalcy for an era of American life that never existed.
At this point, everyone knows that viral shedding of the virus lasts for an average of ten days but in Trump's world? Screw it. I'm the Big Cheese, baby. You should be so lucky to get my edition of this thing.
If he could slap his John Hancock on the virus and sell it, he would. It's not bad enough that the Rose Garden was ground zero for a superspreader event in September when Trump announced the nomination of Judge Amy Comey Barrett to the Supreme Court. Around 100 sycophants gathered to cheer on the good Catholic who hates abortion and loves having a shit ton of kids. And it's not like Trump was singled out as the only guy who plays it unsafe, a bunch of his mafia were infected: Melania Trump got it as did White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, along with former White House adviser Kellyanne Conway, the sloven pig Chris Christie, two senators - Mike Lee from Utah and Thom Tillis from North Carolina, along with the president of Notre Dame University, John Jenkins.
Trump's cavalier attitude should come into question because, despite having world-class doctors treat him, over 200K Americans are still pushing up daisies. Isn't it exhausting that instead of aligning himself with the plight of Americans suffering through the virus, or trying to find workarounds for stimulus bills, he's frolicking on Fox News? He's stopping by Rush Limbaugh to chat, nevermind when he called Sean Hannity's show to say a ton of crazy. He sounded like a sick old man. Even facing a health crisis, Trump has to keep up with the Joneses.
Now, there's talk of not doing the second debate because somehow, going virtual, in an arena where they can cut him off or that Biden doesn't want to be in the room with him because you know, no pussies allowed, and all. The guy in charge also stated that Biden was 'choking like a dog' during their dual horror show of ineptitude. No one won that debate. The American people lost because we're stuck picking one of these two jabronis. Down on the VP ticket, old racist white dudes hate Kamala Harris, so she's getting the Obama treatment all over again, and Mike Pence is still an ultra-closeted creep who's dying to smooch a pecker. But, for those few precious days, Trump was sick in the hospital, and it felt like, wow, a breath again. Wouldn't it be nice to have more than one of those moments?