About Debra BlackCrow, My Mother by Shantel Haynes

Debra Marie BlackCrow was born in Wyoming on September 11, 1958 to an Arapaho mother and an Oglala Lakota father. Debra’s mother, Esther Addison BlackCrow, was one of the children that were forced to live in the boarding schools and had to bare witness to the horrors inflicted upon the children by the nuns and priests. Her father, Milo BlackCrow, was born in a log cabin in the country and raised the traditional Lakota way. Debra was 3rd eldest daughter but still a middle child of 7 girls and 8 boys. During this time, all the children attended St Stevens Mission Catholic School where Debra and her sister recall being hit because they were using their native tongue.

English was the primary language in the household but both of her parents were fluent in Arapaho and Lakota. Life was relatively relaxed for them in Wyoming because their mother owned a little bit of land so they received a monthly $40 check to help with rent and groceries. Their mother was even able to get a line of credit at the store for groceries and the ability to purchase a car. There was still racism during this time more directed towards the black community, which the children could not understand, but there was still racism. So it was even more shocking to them when they finally saw and read “No Indians Allowed” on an old building.

Eventually, the big household moved back to Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. A stark contrast to Wyoming, this house was small and had no running water or electricity so they had to haul in water to use the outhouse. Even with the environment change, Debra was raised to protect her younger siblings so she was quite tomboyish. Yet with a smile on her face, Debra was determined to work hard in school and be a good example for her siblings.

Photos left to right: Debra Blackcrow, Debra surrounded by family, Debra, Debra surrounded by friends

From 1974 -1977, around the same time the “Wounded Knee Occupation” was taking place, Debra was actively involved in her high school career. From Cross County to trying out for the Plains Indian Pageant to having dreams of becoming an architect, she was known as a girl with ambition. Sadly, during her senior year, she would have her own internal battle to navigate through after being raped by her brother’s friend. This assault was never reported to the police but through this trauma, she graduated and moved to Oklahoma to begin her studies as nurse.

This is where she would meet the father of Deanna, C. A baby was an unexpected welcome and C requested that Debra get rid of her or they would no longer be together. Debra decided to keep her child so once she was born in 1980, Debra packed up and moved back to South Dakota. This is where Debra met Shantel’s father, J. He was in the Air Force and was introduced by her sister’s husband. Eventually, J was stationed to California and Debra decided she would leave with him. All three of them moved to California where they would be married and soon after Shantel was born in 1983.

By 1986, the family of four moved to Nevada because J was stationed at Nellis Air Force base. The combination of two young parents and Sin City did not mix so by 1988, they were legally separated and Marcus was born. Shantel would be moved to Virginia with her dad while Deanna and Marcus would remain with Debra.

Debra did make sure to send cards to Shantel every holiday to let her know she was thinking about her and loved her. In 1989, Debra and J reconciled long enough to have Shantee in 1990 in which a legal divorce soon followed.

1993, Debra marries another man in the service briefly and moves to Indiana before divorcing him and moving back to Las Vegas with Deanna. 1994, Shantee and Shantel move back in with Debra while J is stationed in Korea. Marcus is soon to follow and all four children are reunited.

1995, the met Rodney Patrick McNeal.

Photos left to right: Debra Blackcrow with children Deanna and Shantel, Debra with J (first husband), Debra as a child, Debra

This article is a follow up to the article: California Governor Commutes Sentence of Murderer of an Indigenous Woman, Family Demands Justice

Afterword by Rae Rose

The above is written by Debra’s daughter who wants us to know about her mother. I for one will never forget Debra and her family. Thank you Shantel.

Through the stories and the precious glimpse of Debra I was shown, Debra Marie Blackcrow was a woman who grew up surrounded by her family. She valued her children and gave them love you can still see alive in all they do. Despite the loss, her children have carried her memory with them. You can see Debra through her children to this very day.

I am very grateful to her family for the chance to know them and to know Debra through them. I hope we will continue to fight for Debra our murdered indigenous sister loss. Those of us left behind will continue to carry Debra forward with us. We will honor Debra’s life while fighting for her right to justice, and her memory we continue to carry forward. Debra’s life and her legacy live on through her four beautiful children. For Debra, for Deanna, Shantel, Marcus, Shantee, and Samara I will never forget.

Deanna, Shantel, Marcus, and Shantee, thank you for sharing your mother’s story.