Dec 18, 2014 - BINDED by Sunny Red Bear
Manipulation in the form of a mother, a father, a priest, a partner, or a medicine man. It is a manipulation unlike anything else in this recycled world. Do you know the feeling of manipulation? Can you describe to me the sensations it literally makes you experience? Like a forced decision, like a pressured answer, a life of duty and expectation. It’s twisted. Where is the equality in manipulation? …There is none. Where is the love? Neither there. Positions of power that can only give words to mend their lack of empathy. People who know they have control over situations and yet don’t protect when they should. Instead mow us over, cover us up, and give us a way of thinking that will keep us there; stuck. Manipulation becomes the glue; Lies that bond us together, a brokenness that leaves us to struggle to hold our frail pieces together by the words our manipulator hand feeds us. A shell of remorse and justification for the perpetrator and a seed of thought; that in some way, somehow, this was our fault, this brokenness was our destiny. Handling ourselves carefully around a person who skillfully hides the lies and bruises the spirit with a script that reminds us we are owned, we are used, and we are dirty. That they are our answers when we need money, when we need a home, when we need a father, a spiritual leader, a mother, a lover, an uncle….Family. Feeling like a beautifully lit room with trash bags duct taped from corner to corner. We don’t feel special, we feel unable to satisfy needs of others while disregarding ourselves and giving far past our capacity in order to feel needed. Manipulation has been our teacher of life, the one who has taught us about ourselves and has caused us to struggle with self worth. A teacher who has limited our importance to only actions of giving, of fixing and advocating their wrongs to make them look right. But you are not the “fixer”. You are not the one who needs to take on the sickness of the person who has manipulated you. These are not obligations of you. Wandering this earth like your purpose is out of your reach but it is not. It is within you, around you, above and beneath you. Spoken to you by the voice deep inside, written for you by the author of life and placed neatly inside a carefully created heart that is meant for expounding on the greatness of love. There is freedom in spiritual rebellion. Rebellion that takes you out of that dark room and coaxes you to a place where you can grow and soothe yourself. Start to heal the wounds you were given and reprogram the way your mind has been taught. Building a healthy future out of man crafted dysfunction is a gift, it is a talent many of us have that we neglect and give up on. As beautiful as a song, soothing like a river, we are all capable of creating strength out of our weaknesses and trying again at life. Love is neither binding nor fearful. It is there to collect us, build us up through life teachings and traditions of our ancestors. There is no final destination in our journey. Do not think that happiness, love or acceptance are finality, they are only a part of this life. They are new born babies in your arms, hugs from grandma, surprising your wife with a home-cooked meal after work, holding your child while telling bedtime stories before they drift off to sleep. Success comes when we start to define our success & start celebrating with the small victories first. One step at a time out of a manipulated situation could send you on a marathon to a strong, solid and rewarding life. Manipulation instills fear, it makes you crave acceptance in ways that make you want to fill voids with it. Manipulation makes life feel hopeless and dims every light until you can’t see the art around you. I know we’ve all felt it before. Most of us have even been the manipulation, but I write this for people who have lived it, lived through it and are now ready to question the manipulation that has bound them their whole lives. It’s time to rebel, it’s time to fight, to question and fear no judgment. Just because you step out of the darkness doesn’t mean that others will follow, it may not be their time. They may judge you for your rebellion but your rebellion isn’t freedom in their eyes, just yet. Everyone’s time of enlightenment is different. Don’t judge those who are judging you, it only takes away from your freedom. Judgment is bondage. So in all of this, I will send prayers for strength to step away, prayers for guidance in how to do it, for discipline within yourself to hold steadfast in your light & for love to find itself again in a child like spirit that is still alive in you today.
I am proud of you. You are valuable. You are necessary. You are beautifully alive.
-Sunny Red Bear
“Wasu Hla Mani Win”